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It is 2013, and according to the New York Times over 80% of single Americans have tried online dating. Hayden Aldredge joined six websites, some more popular than others, to see if this craze has caught on in Bolivia. The results are not exactly promising for all those digitally minded bachelors and bachelorettes in this country. Well, take a read and decide for yourself...
Profile:
Hayden Aldredge
18/M/Straight/Single
La Paz, Bolivia
Just a lonely young man in search of love in Bolivia. Interests include good food, reading, writing, sports, music, and the outdoors. Not looking for anything too serious, just someone that I could connect with and go on a few dates with. Currently working as a journalist in La Paz, but originally from New York. I am 6’ 3” (1.9 meters), weigh 182 pounds and am very physically active.
I have never dabbled in internet dating. I know many people who have, and virtually all reviews have been at least somewhat positive. When I seem skeptical, my friends always point out that it’s the year 2013, that maybe ten years ago finding someone you could theoretically spend the rest of your life with online might have been weird, but not now. All of my friends who are making such statements are of course from the United States. I tried asking people that I know in Bolivia about internet dating, whether they had participated or even what their opinions on it were. Not a single Bolivian that I spoke to had used a dating website. When pressed on the issue, they all seemed to not know much about it, other than that only 'slightly off' or just plain 'weird' people used those sites. This piqued my interest. I decided to join every website offering dating services to people in La Paz. I set out to find out just how easy to use they really were, who was using them, and whether I could actually contact and then eventually arrange a date with real people. I thought to myself, if frequenting dating locations and using exotic love charms don’t work, maybe this will.
Google 'la paz bolivia dating websites' and this is the first result to come up. If you like actual people, who actually do probably exist, then this is the site for you. Sure, some of the profiles on this site are off-puttingly real, but after hours of trawling through dating services, it is a nice feeling to actually believe that I could run into the person whose picture I am staring at so intently. Badoo has that going for it. It’s also free. The interface is good, possibly the best of all the sites that I looked at. It can be accessed in English and Spanish. But I might be an impartial judge here. In just two days I received 12 profile views, most on any site for me, and was chatting with two actual La Paz citizens by that time. Of all the sites that I visited, Badoo made me feel the most confident that if I arranged to meet a person at the movies for a date, they would actually show up looking like the person I thought I was supposed to meet.
Mingle2 has the potential. It really does. The interface is very good, it is easy and free to create a profile, and there are no annoying advertisements. The issue for me, and any other Bolivian, is that not a single one of the profiles I looked at was located in this country. In fact, the vast majority lived in the United States. I found one or two people who claimed to live in La Paz, but the profiles were obviously fake. It is a real shame, because Mingle2 could really be something. Instead, it just keeps reminding me by email that women from South Beach, Florida, want to meet me.
This site has an absolutely terrible interface, but when it comes down to it, it might just be in the top three sites I signed up for. The profiles on Lava Place actually have images that won’t pop up on google search results for 'hot girls'. Yet, unfortunately for me, very few of the people actually seemed to be in my age range. If fact, the vast majority of the people on the site were in their fifties and seemed to just be getting out of a divorce. And they were looking for a younger man or woman. There were some younger profiles, but I would say that this particular service isn’t exactly geared towards my age group.
Here we go. Perhaps the most interesting 'dating website' that I looked at. Looking for a date on craigslist is like trying to find your dignity by going to Carnival in Oruro. Surprisingly enough there is a section for men seeking women (and vice versa) in La Paz. But that’s not where you find the interesting queries that make Craigslist such a special place. The real fun is in the casual encounters section, where women who are patently sex workers advertise openly and with the aid of some very explicit images. My suggestion is to stay away from Craigslist, unless of course you want to dabble with Stop Time (see Where is the Love?). Craigslist certainly has some good features, but in my quest for love, or even just a normal date, it was a dead end.
Adult Friend Finder is a site built specifically for adults to connect with one another and have casual sexual encounters together. This is strictly an over 18 kind of site. Every single picture is extremely explicit, and the information on most profiles goes far beyond suggestive. I was able to join for free, but as soon as I tried to do absolutely anything —like viewing a larger version of someone’s profile picture, or read a message I was sent from another user— I was asked to pay money. The most basic package comes in at $6 a month, while the best account will cost you $19.99, enough to buy at least twenty anticuchos (see Getting to the Heart of It). Since I already knew this wouldn’t exactly help me find a nice reasonable girl to go on a date with I decided to not pay a single centavo.
For some reason Citas Bolivia uses a Mexican flag in their logo. That, along with their odd use of chilies, Mexican beer, and sombreros on the homepage, does not stop this site from being one of the very best I signed up for. The interface is attractive and the site on a whole is very easy to use. While many of the users are just a tad too old for me, the profiles on Citas Bolivia are much more balanced, age-wise, than Lava Place. Nine people viewed my profile, and a grand total of four women sent me messages. They all might have been over 40 years old, but that didn’t really trouble me. At this point in my search, I had basically given up trying to get an actual date on any of these sites, and was just happy when someone real messaged me.
The difference in attitude on internet dating between the United States and Bolivia could be perfectly explained by a difference in cultural and social values. But after hours of searching through these dating sites, I have come to realize that the real reason lies in the fact that the very best option for Bolivians would rank as very mediocre for anyone in the United States. In the end, trying to find a date online in La Paz is just not very realistic or practical for someone who is looking for a functional relationship. This at least, was the case for me. But who knows, maybe people just really didn’t like my profile picture. Despite the plausibility of this, I like to think that the reason I failed to get a date through the internet was because a lack of truly good options, and not because of my facial features.
Hayden Aldredge's guide on where to date in La Paz
Last week, I got a girl’s number. I waited three days (the requisite amount of time, at least where I’m from) before texting her, asking if she would like to get together. The word ‘date’ was never explicitly mentioned, but it was certainly implied. Since she is Bolivian and I am just a transient outsider, I left it up to her to decide where and when we would meet up. But she didn't quite understand this, and the next thing I knew it was my job to decide what to do for our first date. As I sat in my room, feverishly thinking of places to go and things to do, I began to think about all of the nervous souls out there who were thinking that same exact thought. And so, with my decision still up in the air, I decided to tackle this problem and learn where people go on dates in this city.
Photo by Christian Eugenio
Achocalla
This idyllic location (plus pond) is located just a forty-five-minute minibus ride away from the city centre. After the bumpy ride, which offers beautiful views of the surrounding hills and mountains of La Paz, you arrive at Achocalla. If you want a very special date, take your significant other to Flor De Leche, a brilliant (but pricey) restaurant run by the cheese making company of the same name. It's a beautiful scene for a romantic fondue shared outside under cool shade. A short stroll down the road leads you to the pond, where swan pedal boats can be rented for twelve bolivianos (for fifteen minutes). The lake is tranquil, and, more importantly, it’s very private. For a more exciting date, small quad bikes are available for rental on a circular dirt track. I noted multiple couples squished onto these small machines, laughing hysterically as they went onto two wheels around the corner. If that doesn't sound appealing, you can also rent horses to walk around in a very small area. One couple that I talked to, Maria and Carlos, were sitting in their minibus, quietly cuddling. When asked why they came here, they said that it was ‘beautiful’, and a ‘place to fall in love’. It was worth the drive out from La Paz for them, and after spending a day there, I would have to agree with what they said.
From Plaza Humboldt in Zona Sur, catch any minibus with the sign Achocalla in the windshield. The bus will drop you off very close to the small pond, which is a short walk away. (If you want to go to Flor De Leche, then just keep walking up the main road for about ten minutes. The restaurant is down a small dirt road, and the only indicator that it even exists is a small wooden sign at the end of said road.)
Multicine
The very first thing I thought of doing was going to the movies. But what exactly does ‘going to the movies’ mean in La Paz? It turns out that every Wednesday night, something incredible happens at the Multicine on the Avenida Arce (no, it’s not pronounced ‘Arse’, it’s more like ‘Are-say’), in a large mall with a modern gym, several fast food restaurants (including the ever-popular Pollo Copacabana), a faux Victoria's Secret placed suggestively right next to a mattress store, and eight large movie theatres. The five or so blocks leading to the Multicine were crowded with groups of kids giggling awkwardly, self-segregated by gender, with a few intrepid souls cautiously bridging the small gap to awkwardly stand together. I talked to two couples that night. The first were on their second date. The boy (16), told me that this was the obvious place to go for an event like that. As he said this, his girlfriend (15) just nodded vigorously. I asked the second couple I spoke to —who were in a long-term relationship— what brought them there. ‘What else would we do?’, snapped the boy. While that might not be a ringing endorsement, if you are looking for a reassuringly mainstream date venue, dinner at Pollo Copacabana and a two-for-one film screening is a good place to start. Pro-tip: there’s no way to know what a girl is really like until you see her eat fried chicken with her hands.
Address: Nº 2631, Av. Arce, La Paz, Bolivia
There are some people out there who would like nothing more from a first date than loud music, lots of dancing, heat, body odour, and being squished together with a multitude of drunk and sweaty people. If you also like to be sprayed with silly string and spend way too much money, then Forum is the place for you. Ask the right 15-year-old kid what the best club in the city is, and he will undoubtedly say Forum. Take a quick walk around the inside and you can definitely see why that is. There are groups of teenagers everywhere, holding cocktails in their hands and awkwardly dancing to the music. Judging by their body language, teenage couples don't necessarily come here together, but they certainly end up leaving hand-in-hand (or in some cases, hand-on-breast). By no means is Forum a club just for teenagers, but if you are thinking about taking your date out to a club, I would recommend avoiding this one.
Address: Victor Sanjines 2908, Sopocachi
Montículo
The Montículo, located next to Plaza España in Sopocachi, has one of the best views in the entire city. The lookout point, a must-visit if you are in the neighborhood, boasts a cute church, beautiful trees, and even a statue of Beethoven. And if you go there at sunset, the light hitting the far hills won't be the only thing that catches your attention. On any given day at dusk, you’ll easily spot at least ten couples, sitting on benches or the surrounding walls, passionately embracing. While the initial draw to the Montículo is the view at sunset, these couples definitely find something else to entertain them. One Wednesday evening I counted thirteen couples in this small space. Of those, only two were not intensely making out. The couples ranged in age, from teenagers to the kind of adults that can no longer claim to be middle-aged. After multiple visits to this lovers’ paradise, I concluded that the Montículo is definitely not a place to go for a first date, but if you want the opportunity to avoid awkward small talk and pursue a slightly more passionate pastime with your significant other, then this is the place for you.
From Plaza España in Sopocachi, walk towards the Northeast corner of the square. From there, climb the steps to get to the top of the Monticulo.
Photo by Theo Haynes
Stop Time
One hour. Fifty-eight Bolivianos. A Jacuzzi, a large bed, a shower, and privacy. Need I say more? Stop Time is just one of many ’motels’ located around La Paz, a large number of them just down the road from Forum (see above). These are discreet businesses that provide clean rooms that couples can rent an hour at a time. The most basic room, which has a Jacuzzi, bed, and full bathroom, costs 58 bolivianos per hour. Prices and amenities rise from there, with the most expensive room running 158 bolivianos per hour. And don’t worry about missing this place: there are five signs announcing it. And at night, there’s a bright red neon sign that hangs above the motel. Not exactly discreet, but it definitely does attract quite a large number of clients. In just ten minutes of waiting in front of the entrance for an interview, I observed no fewer than four couples on their way in and a further two making their way out. According to some qualified experts, this is the place to go after a night out when you just don’t have anywhere else to go with that certain someone.
Address: Go down the street Francisco Bedregal, it will be pretty obvious.
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In the end, none of this helped me. A few days after she told me to make the decision, my mysterious lady texted me once again. She had made an executive decision: Our first date will be a nice dinner at her home—with her parents. We are still in negotiations, and have yet to go on our first date.
