Football: A Game of Hearts

I don’t remember his name, but he spoke with an emotion and a glint in his eyes that I didn’t see very often: this exchange student from Thailand, barely 17 years old, had just arrived from Oruro and was planning to stay in my house for the weekend. It wasn’t any ordinary weekend; that Sunday, Bolivia was playing the Copa América final against Brazil.

He said he chose to come to Bolivia because he knew that the Copa was going to be played there. ‘He is a true football fan and he is very excited’, my mother told me. Later, the boy took me through a session of ‘show and tell’, proudly displaying the memorabilia he had brought from his country: photos, curios, and Man-U magazines in Thai. He had encyclopaedic knowledge of formations, sketches, and results that I would have never imagined were possible to memorize. And he recited them with enviable emotion and, it could be said, with love.

Can you love a game? Love reigns over all other feelings. We grow fond of people, animals and material objects. But can we really develop an emotional bond with a recreational activity? Games are one of the few human activities performed for their own sake: we play because we can. In a game we reflect and project who we are. To play is to escape oneself, it brings us entertainment and that’s why we enjoy it.

This was the last thing I was thinking about when, two days later, Ronaldo’s Brazil took away ‘our’ Cup, after beating a Bolivian squad that got us all excited for an instant when they tied the match. That night, I shared the pain of defeat with another 40,000 souls painted green in the mythic Hernando Siles stadium.

How could a game become so important? Maybe it's a special kind of love. We know about brotherly love, paternal love, and romantic love, but it seems that this game stirs a feeling as singular as its very nature. Have you ever seen the face of a fan when a goal is scored against his team? It’s a unique gesture of disappointment, anger, resignation and winded agony never otherwise seen. I dare say that only such a singular sport is able to awake such a particular feeling. The joy of a child who goes to bed hugging his football; the frustration of a fan who learns that a good match won’t be broadcast. No, I’m not talking about a match ‘your’ team plays: Argentina v Germany, Milan v Real Madrid, Boca v River, we hunger to see these games as much as some might yearn to hear Bernstein conduct a Beethoven symphony. Indeed, it is a love that exceeds country or team: a place in our heart in the shape of a regulation-sized football. It’s the excitement of watching a play put together by the Iniesta - Xavi – Messi trio, it’s that feeling we have when switching channels and suddenly finding a match and thinking: ‘Who are they? Who is winning?’ And, like all feelings, it’s either there or it isn’t, you can’t force it.

The next day, during lunch, my mother surprised me with a corollary to the story. ‘Do you remember the Thai guy? Well, his host family in Oruro didn’t give him permission to travel to La Paz, but he came anyway just to watch the game. Even the police were looking for him, and as punishment he must return home immediately. He said he didn’t care, he was happy because it was the final of Copa América’.

I smiled thinking that this young Thai boy had risked and sacrificed so much, all the way across the world, because he loved this game with such a passion. In part thanks to him, I know that the most beautiful of feelings can be expressed towards the most beautiful of games.

Translated from the Spanish by Caroline Risacher

With Valentines Day around the corner, couples frolicking together in carnivalesque frenzy, hearts on sale at every street corner and love charms for sale to make your passionate crush fall in love with you, it's hard not to get swept away with love and its associated rites. Even President Evo Morales has declared that the next thousand years herald an era ‘of peace and love'. But let’s not get carried away in this pheromonic haze just yet, to truly understand love we must look at where it no longer exists; where pop that was once fizzy has now gone flat.

Photo by Manuel Seoane

Although no official figures exist, according to the International Anglican Family Network (IAFN), 'a stunning 75% of marriages in Bolivia end in divorce, with 73% of these ending in the first two years of marriage'. The Network has responded to this by offering failing marriages counselling and support through the church in Bolivia. In fact, Anglicans are not the only ones getting worried about the current situation. On their part, the Bolivian Bible Society are employing their full strength to get into churches and supply pastors with the skills and resources to piece back together marriages that are near collapse.

While there’s some discrepancy over the exact divorce rate (at the lower end of the spectrum, the Coordinadora de la Mujer claims roughly half of marriages ends in divorce), figures are undoubtedly high by international standards. Even estimates for the US, where the divorce rate is infamously high, don’t exceed 60%. The Bolivian situation begs the obvious questions: why are rates so high, and what are the implications?

The IAFN have placed the reason of 'absence of social restraint', as the first cause of increasing divorce rates. In fact, they assert 'divorce is now an option to be considered, even a normal outcome' for any failing marriage. Another argument that is offered, though not directly by the IAFN, is that the apparent ease of divorce now offered by large-scale law firms is actually contributing to the higher divorce rate, and that the ease of divorce is actually causing more people to get divorces.

I spoke to Rigoberto Paredes, one of the top divorce lawyers in La Paz. We had a conversation at the plush offices of division of his law firm aptly marketed as ‘Divorcio Fácil’. It turns out that while it may be true that law firms make it 'simple and easy for the client', the divorce process really is a long, arduous and, most importantly, expensive process. The divorce procedure in Bolivia stands out as one of sheer bureaucracy, trapping unsuspecting victims into a legal battle, which can be as vicious as it is onerous. It can take anywhere from 8 months to 5 years, and at least 5,000 bolivianos for a divorce to become finalised. This would imply that divorce is almost exclusively the privilege of the wealthy, a fact that seemingly calls into question the IANF divorce statistics.

Indeed, there are other reasons to doubt claims by the Episcopal community, which states that a lack of morality in Bolivian society is responsible for an increase in divorce. While a large number of divorce claims are based on infidelity, it’s needful to examine other financial and economic reasons. Some examples I discovered include men being forced to leave their families to search for work in remote places, for example as an offshoot of the burgeoning oil or gas industry. As a result, if the man is absent from the household for two years or longer, the wife is within her rights to divorce her husband without even as much of a requirement as him signing the papers. Furthermore, the law firm had several cases in which a couple got divorced and yet continued to cohabit purely for economic reasons.

Even when infidelity is cited as a reason for divorce, as soon as one scratches beneath the surface it’s easy to see the situation is really not what it seems. 'Fraudulent evidence is a constant concern', Paredes told me, explaining that many of the individuals who claim for divorce on grounds of infidelity are simply doing so because that is the evidence 'easiest to fake'. In fact, fraudulent evidence doesn't even stop there. Many times, in order to protect his assets, the husband will ask his boss to fake a certificate of pay to claim that he is being paid substantially less than what he actually makes, thereby meaning he loses less in the divorce process.

In keeping with the times, the Rigoberto Paredes law firm have recognised these social and cultural changes. The web portal for Divorcio Fácil allows clients to follow their cases online, without the need of setting foot in the court. They also have agents on-hand to answer questions via chat, as well as a specialised group of psychologists to help through the process. Cynicism aside, Divorcio Fácil really does seem to make the whole thing as fácil as possible. That said, it was repeatedly stressed to me that the firm has a very strong code of ethics and they will absolutely never try to motivate someone to take a divorce, and will in fact do all they can to dissuade them if they think it appropriate. 'While we make it possible for people to attain an easy divorce, we absolutely do not motivate them to do so'.

It’s apparent the rise of specialised divorce law firms themselves cannot, on their own, explain the divorce figures. Saying that more people are getting divorced because there are more divorce lawyers is like saying more people are getting murdered because there are more criminal lawyers. These religious organisations' claims and explanations make little sense, and the figures they use to legitimise their campaigns are largely unfounded.

Referring to the above cited figures, Paredes adds that these religious organisations are only proving that they have a distorted view of the family by claiming that divorce is on the rise due to a denigration of morals and the establishment of specialised divorce law firms. What seems more probable is that couples, traditionally conservative in their outlook, are being swayed by the forces of modernity and globalisation, increasingly understanding the contractual aspect to their relationships as precisely that; a mutually consensual agreement that can be broken when its terms have been violated, or when it’s no longer in the mutual interest of both parties.

In his quest to find love in La Paz, Hayden Aldredge discovers how love charms, amulets, and the occasional spell are just a part of the normal search for passion in Bolivia.

Photo by Alejandro Loayza

Alasitas 
Alasitas, the miniature craft fair celebrated every January, is really much more than just a fair. It’s an occasion for Bolivians to buy miniature versions that represent all the things they want for the year ahead, courtesy of the Ekeko, the God of Fortune. For women, a miniature cockerel has to be given to them by a friend. White for marriage, gold for them to find a man with mucho dinero, and black to break a bad spell or a tainted love. Men follow a similar process, except they use a hen, or a small figurine of a black woman. Once purchased, the miniature in question must be blessed by a Yatiri, preferably at midday on the first day of Alasitas. Vania Gonzalvez, a woman I spoke to, explained the power of these charms:
‘A friend once gave me a cockerel. I have always been attracted by this type of thing, and in a way I could say I like to believe magic exists. Believe that a miniature clay cockerel can bring you love? Why not. One or two weeks after I was given this amulet I met my first boyfriend. For the following two years I lived in La Paz I was given miniature cockerels, and wasn’t single during this period. It’s been four years since I left La Paz and have therefore not received an Alasitas cockerel. I don’t want to sound more superstitious than I probably already seem, but in all this time I’ve been single. Coincidence? Just in case, I have asked a friend from Bolivia to send me one.’

Color it Red
Bolivians go far beyond the average New Year's resolution. Instead of making goals that will be forgotten two weeks later (there go my Spanish language ), they view the occasion as a chance to profoundly affect what happens to them in the next yskillsear. Surprisingly, many of these rites involve underwear. If a person wants to find love they must wear red underwear during New Year’s eve. This is just one variant on the underwear belief: yellow brings happiness and money, green brings prosperity, pink for friendship, and white for hope and peace. If you want to get married, then precisely at midnight, sit down and stand up 12 times. Then, tie a red ribbon around a photograph of the person you want to marry and sleep with it under your pillow all night. This is supposed to ensure the person you love will give you his or her love before the next New Year's Eve. Lastly, if all you want in your life is a bit of passion, then just burn red candles throughout New Year's Eve.

Love Potions and Amulets

A trip through the Mercado Sagarnaga is essential for any tourist visiting La Paz. While the llama foetuses and shopkeepers will catch your attention, what should really intrigue you (if you’re as interested in finding love as I am), are the amulets and love powders that line the shelves of these shops. I purchased two of these in the hope of finding love. One was a traditional love amulet which consisted of a very small bundle of objects, a couple made out of fake gold, and other small indistinguishable objects. I’m told I’m supposed to keep this in my wallet. The other item I purchased was a small box of powder -smelling very much like incense and tasting very much like soap- that I’m supposed to surreptitiously sprinkle into someone’s drink or food to make them fall in love with me. The box had a man and a woman passionately embracing with the words ‘Come to Me’ written in Spanish. While it claims to be a new formula, the powder (made in Venezuela) didn't quite work for me. That said, last time I checked, spiking drinks (whether with rohypnol or a suspect love potion) is illegal and, if anything, is an effective recipe to get you on the sex offenders register. But who knows, maybe I just need to use more of it next time.

Munachi Charms
Perhaps the most inaccessible love charms that I came across were Munachi charms. These are amulets used by both Quechua and Aymara cultures to enact sexual love spells. One translation of ‘Munachi’ is ‘to cause to love’. The amulets are used in a simple love spell as follows: two pieces of hair, one from each of the lovers, are either wrapped around the lovers' necks, or doubled and threaded through the little hole in the object and secured by making a larks head knot. I did not get the chance to personally use one of these amulets, but was fortunate to talk to the renowned Kallawaya Edgar Pacheco. He informed me that these particular charms are made out of a stone called pachacha. This must be ritually blessed using the smoke of a plant called Myrocarpus Frondosus (sahumerio). In addition, the charm must be created specifically for the person who will use it; it’s no use just buying it off the street.

Mystics - Tamara y Salvador
For a less ‘generic’ approach to love magic, a mystic named Salvador veers away from the use of talismans and amulets. ‘Our work is more personal’, he explains, as he describes the seven-hour bonding ritual between couples that takes place in his practice. Unlike other similar services, Salvador’s rituals require love to exist between the couple in some form. His aim is to strengthen the bond between two consenting people, using existing feelings as a catalyst, not capture the love of an unsuspecting soul. The waiting area seems neo-modern and could easily be mistaken for a dentist’s waiting room, with a mostly red and white colour scheme (plus XBox). However, his office itself is filled with drawings of Christ, Buddha, and varying spiritual images. ‘I am a deeply spiritual person’ he tells us, ‘we work with spirits in order to achieve union’. Salvador was kind enough to show us the spirit he uses, Tamara, in the form of an intact, human skull he keeps in the cabinet behind his desk. Mysteriously, he also uses a second, more powerful spirit, the name of which he would not release to us, presumably used for more difficult cases. One thing that stands out about Salvador’s work is that it doesn’t require the faith of his clients, who simply need to have a ritual performed on their union. When asked about his clientele, Salvador insisted he was in no way lacking customers, something we observed during our visit. In less than half an hour six people turned up at his practice and his phone didn’t stop ringing. He has but one condition for his customers: ‘If you come and it works, you must recommend me’.

Edgar Pacheco Kallawaya
Kallawaya Edgar Pacheco is one of the most respected medicine men in Bolivia. Even if you ignore the multitude of awards and diplomas hanging on his wall, his mere presence will tell you that through a long life of practice and experience he has gained a true level of expertise. One ritual he mentioned needs to be carried out by the parents of a couple, who after going to the Kallawaya, ask for one item of clothing from each person, used to call their spirits, or ajayus. Once the spirits are invoked, then the couple can join in love. Another ritual involves a more interesting case. If a man is in love with a woman but the love is unrequited, then he might opt not to have a ritual to make her fall for him. Instead, the man may wish to take part in a ritual himself to make him forget her. This particular ritual involves a maceration of white rose and carnation, along with a few other ingredients that the Kallawaya could not disclose.